We Belong Together with Fr. Joe Newman, OSFS

Join us for a special episode of Open Seat, where we engage in an unfiltered and heartfelt conversation with the Very Reverend Joe Newman, OSFS. Fr. Joe Newman reflects on his  journey from growing up in Toledo, Ohio, to becoming a Provincial Superior of the Oblates in the Toledo-Detroit Province. He shares profound insights on spirituality, the significance of unconditional love, and the freedom to choose one's vocation. Explore the unique and rich history of the Oblates of St. Francis de Sales, their global presence, and charism. Fr. Joe's personal stories of joy, grief, and love, highlight the importance unity and belonging. This episode provides a great deal of humor mixed with some great reflections to dive in deep with your faith. Check back every Friday for a new episode and a new guest in the Open Seat! 

This is a podcast of Holy Family Parish, located in Adrian MI. We are a Catholic people, not a place, striving to Live Jesus through celebrating the sacraments and forming disciples in Adrian and beyond.

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Open Seat es un podcast Parroquia de la Sagrada Familia ubicada en Adrian, Michigan. Somos un pueblo católico, no un lugar, que se esfuerza por vivir a Jesús celebrando los sacramentos y formando discípulos en Adrian y más allá.

Transcript

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The most important thing, we belong together. I think that's so powerful, especially, you know, as we all gather for, for Eucharist. I mean, we are joined worldwide. If you begin to say, who has God joined me together with? Well, that circle gets bigger and bigger and bigger. Yeah, we belong together. Welcome to Open Seat, the podcast where we create a space for authentic conversations about faith, unfiltered and unapologetic. Here, we believe that every story matters and in the open seat, there's room for honesty, vulnerability, and community. Whether you're questioning, seeking, or steadfast in your beliefs, you'll find something relatable. In these heartfelt discussions, so grab your seat, get comfortable, and let's dive into today's story here at OpenSeat. Okay, so today in the open seat we have the man by so many titles. I think first we could start with PJ. Yes. Yep. Then we could start with the man who blew things up during the parish mission. That's me. Okay. How about, provincial? Mm hmm. Okay. And then my favorite the very reverend Joe Newman. Yes, that's who I respond to. First of all, what makes you very reverend? Yeah. so I was elected to be provincial superior. I like the superior on the title. during our annual assembly of all the Oblates in the province. So, when they elect you, you're it. You're very reverend. And you get to put the'v' in front of reverend.'V' period. before So important. So important. So, before you became very reverend, You were doing a multitude of jobs. Can you tell us about some of them and then which one was maybe your favorite? Oh yeah. so my primary ministry before being provincial I worked at our high school and our school in Toledo, Ohio. St. Francis de Sales School. I was in administration there. I was vice president previous to that I'd worked in the admissions office. I taught chemistry and physics. I now teach a leadership class there. So like anything you can do in a high school I even coached 7th and 8th grade track. This sounds like you're trying to get a building named after you, Joe. In the works! And did you do anything besides St. Francis? Yes, so, I don't even know how many years now. I'm gonna say eight. Is this fact checked? No. Eight years I've been at a parish, Our Lady of Lourdes on the weekends. Yeah, I love that place. Mm hmm. Good. Good. So, is there any chance of you becoming pastor at Our Lady of Lourdes in the future? Up to the provincial. Yourself. When you drop the V, you get to go into a new ministry. right, that's right. So, why don't you tell us about early life as Joe Newman. Oh, wonderful. Yes, yes. So I grew up in Toledo, Ohio. I am, the third son of my parents. so my oldest brother, Michael, of course, is here at Holy Family. Middle brother, John. And then I'm the youngest. We're all separated by two years. Two years apiece. Boom, boom, boom. Which means that whenever Michael left somewhere, I showed up. He leaves high school, I show up. We went to the same university, DeSales University. He left, I show up. So, it will take him to leave if I show up here. I'm not saying his bag is packed but no we love him. Yeah, he's wonderful. Very close to Michael. He's great. Yeah, Yeah So what made you decide to join the Oblates? I got to know the oblates at my local parish in Toledo, Christ the King. I served for an oblate there, Father Ron Olszewski for many years. And then I went to our high school and got to know him even better. And then the oblates have a university, DeSales University in Allentown, Pennsylvania out by Philadelphia. And I went there and I studied biology. And I had oblates for professors, and I got to know them really well. And, you know, towards the end of college, I thought, Well, should I pursue more science? Should I go into medicine? Or should I try this oblate thing? And, I'm a very practical person. And I thought, more schooling or medical school, that's gonna immediately put me in debt. I could try this oblate thing for free. And so right out of college, I moved in to our house at st. Francis in Toledo. I taught for a year, lived with the Oblates, prayed with them. I fell in love. We're Well, we're glad you're an oblate too because you get to do the parish mission and various other things. What about Salesian spirituality attracts you? So I love, Salesian spirituality, the spirituality of both Francis de Sales and Jane de Chantal. What attracts me the most, a few things. Number one, it's an everyday spirituality. It was really designed not for religious or for priests, but for everybody. For lay people in particular and it's about, how do I live today well. How do I encounter live out holiness right here, right now? No avoiding it. so I love that piece. And, instead of focusing on a lot of exterior acts, it looks to transform the heart. And so I love that insight from Francis and Jane. Let's transform our hearts and from our hearts are the rest of our actions. And it's also one of joy and optimism spiritual friendships. And so I just find it really attractive. Francis de Sales has that quote: Friendships that start here on Earth continue.... yes, yes. So Francis and Jane they were spiritual friends in life. So can you imagine two saints conversing with one another talking to one another talking about their faith, about God about prayer, and It's it's true that the spirituality has become what it is because it was a joint one. It wasn't just Francis It wasn't just Jane. It was them together, and I think that's a wonderful image for us. We're not alone You not only are we with God, but we have spiritual friendships here on earth to guide us so very powerful So, let's talk about early life in the Newman house. Alright, so, there's a rumor floating around that everybody worked at Kroger. That's true. So my parents they worked for Kroger. they met at Kroger. They weren't married there. Not the produce aisle? Not the produce aisle. so they worked Kroger their entire lives. And then, my brother, Michael, gosh, he worked in the produce department. My brother, John, in grocery stocking. And then I became a cashier. I worked for one year and I got a week vacation. Weeks paid vacation. So I worked for my one year took my weeks paid vacation and I got another job Smart man. Yeah, I loved it. I love being a cashier. You get to interact with all these people You know may I scan your Kroger plus card, please. I loved it. It was a great job Sounds like it's worth it. Unfortunately we don't have a Kroger in the area, so you know. We're missing out, I know, but, Meijer would be the equivalent. Okay. Yes. Yes. The competitor. We always got to add that in. So, growing up in the Newman house, what did being Catholic look like? Yeah, I think a lot of people have an image of what the Newman household would look like, because there are two priests that came from it. Well, I was just gonna say where's the priest factory? I visited the Newman house and I did not see any priest factory in that house. Just to spread the rumor. Yeah. Yeah, I could tell you this. it was very normal. Right. Very normal. School, sports. You know, my middle brother, John and I, we fought all the time. Michael was the peacemaker. but I can tell you, we were blessed with two wonderful parents, Mike and Andrea. they gave me the one thing, that I think is, is the foundation of both of our vocations. They gave us love, unlimited love, unconditional love. I have never questioned that. And I think that love allowed us the freedom to say. Let's do this. Let's do this. so I always saw our vocations, priesthood, anything, anything, our vocations. It's not as if God says, I have one thing you have to do and if you choose wrong, You're gonna be unhappy the rest of your life. I don't think God is like that. God gave us freedom. So I always had a sense God said to me, you can do any of these things, you know, pursue different occupations, married life, single life, religious life, you can do anything. You can be happy with any one of those. You get to choose. You get to choose. It'd be so nice to be told what to do. You can always blame someone else if it doesn't work out. This is true. When God says you get to choose, wow, wow. And so, how am I connecting that to my parents love? They allowed me to choose. so it sounds like the Newman household was not a priest factory, but in fact, normal. That's right. That's right. Very normal. Broken limbs, skinned knees. Arguments. And did you play any sports growing up? Oh my gosh, let's see. Soccer. I was a goalie, in my CYO soccer team. I tried other things. Basketball, baseball. As a basketball player, I'd foul out every game. I don't know. I'm just really aggressive. Yeah. That would one word to describe you. Aggressive. Does that come across? Yeah, definitely, definitely. did you become the fourth grade T-ball star like your brother? No, no, no. You know, sports, I'm sure you're capturing this on camera. I'm not very tall. tall Right? I'm not very tall. I trip over my vestments. but you know what I fell in love with? I was in the band, in the marching band, and in pep band and orchestra band when I was in high school, and I did the musicals. Oh. And in college, I was on our cycling team. So you're looking at a collegiate athlete here. Oh my. Yeah, no cuts. I actually started the team just so I could say that phrase to you for the rest of my life. No cuts. No cuts. And you're a collegiate athlete. Wow. We'll have to get your autograph after this. Don't Google me. You'll never find me. You'll see next to races. Did not finish DNF. I didn't realize we were amongst a celebrity. We'll have to add that title to the podcast, too. In the beginning, yes. Man, you are a man of many titles. How are you able to even stand with all those Around your neck? Yeah, my signature line's, growing. it's funny you mention that. Oftentimes, that is put on my brother Michael as a title collector. But I suppose, I've taken that habit from him. I think you have. Why don't you just tell us a little bit about the Oblates let's start there. wonderful. So the Oblates of St. Francis de Sales, a religious order of men. We are priests and brothers following in the footsteps of Francis de Sales and Jane de Chantal. Something most people don't know about us. Okay, here we go. Francis de Sales dies in 1622. The Oblates are formed 1875. It's a little later. It's a little later. We were not formed. by Francis de Sales himself. Instead, Francis de Sales and Jane de Chantal started the visitation of Holy Mary, that religious order, and we really say we sprung from them. We are a male religious order that was founded, really by a female religious order. That is rare in the church. That is extremely rare. We count Louis Brisson. He was a priest in France and the good mother who was a visitation nun. She was mother of monastery and Louis Brisson would go to her, Mary Mother Chapuis. And she said, start an order of men in the spirituality of Francis de Sales. And he said no. He said no many, many times. He received some miracles. He sat on it for 25 years. But eventually, the good mother wins out. He's He's convinced. And he starts us. That is a long pause That is a long pause so we're currently chaplains for the Visitation Monastery in Toledo Absolutely love them And how many men are in the order? Yes, how many men are in the order? so worldwide, we're about 375. We're not very large. in the Toledo, Detroit province, we're 33. but we're looking for more. And you have an eastern province in the U.S. Yes, yes. So believe it or not, Toledo-Detroit is part of the western province in the United States. The eastern province out of Wilmington, Philadelphia. and their number is around 90. So in the U.S. there's like a third of the Oblates. That's correct. Yes. Where are the other Oblate provinces? Yes, yes. thank you for putting me on the spot. Usually, I miss one when I start to name them all. I hope the Oblates pick this up and run so, so we'll see what happens. So there's two in the United States. Toledo-Detroit Wilmington-Philadelphia. we're also in South America. I'm holding up my fingers to count them. also in Europe, so we have German speaking, we have Netherlands, we have French speaking, we have the Italian. in Africa, we have South Africa. We also have a place, Benin, which is part of the French speaking. and we have an Indian province and I'm sure I probably am missing one and that will come out later. We look forward to that. Heh heh heh heh. what is your job as Provincial of the Oblates? It's To record podcasts. So my job is provincial. my primary role is to lead and focus on relationship within the Oblates themselves. It's called internal ministry which means I work for the guys who elected me. So I work for them. I work for the province so it can look like everything from one of our oblates is out of town so I'm helping him with his masses on the weekend, if someone is sick, I go and I see them, but a lot of it is just visiting it's so important for us to stay connected and so a lot of it is, is visiting and getting to know one another and talking about our lives and our faith, relationship with God and relationship with the oblates. and the Oblates have some pretty unique ministries. not They're not just in schools and churches but like Mickey McGrath does I would say contemporary art. Yes, so, Mickey McGrath, he's one of our artists, Brother Mickey McGrath, excellent art. we have another artist, Tom Ribits is an artist. we have guys that do ministry in prison. We have, ministry at universities. oftentimes people say, what do the Oblates do? Because religious orders are formed around a single thing. Well, we do a lot of things. What we're supposed to do is bring the spirit of Francis and Jane into whatever work we are performing, we are doing. And that is really our charism. How do we bring this, the heart of Francis and Jane, to the work at our hands? And a distinguishing characteristic of the Oblates is the cross you wear, right? Yes. I know, you wear it internally, but you actually have relics on your body. Yes, we do. So, when we take our first vows with the Oblates of St. Francis de Sales, we're given a profession cross That cross is really an image of the cross that the visitation from their cross. Theirs is a bit bigger. It's really nice. but, inside that cross are relics of Francis and Jane and the other Salesian saints along with some other saints. And we wear that our entire lives. And in fact, it's one of the most powerful things as provincial when an oblate dies the cross is put on their casket and that's the last thing I remove during our during our funerals cause it is the cross that you wear your entire life. So is it passed down then from oblate to oblate, the crosses? Yes. So after it's returned from the previous oblate, then it's given to the next oblate. Yes, yes. so my profession cross, it was someone else's before it was mine. You know, one of the powerful stories, one of our previous provincials, Father Jim Cryan, Father Jim Cryan, he died a little over a year ago, but right before he died I asked him, is that the same cross that you received when you were professed? Cause he was professed 75 years. And He picked it up off of his chest and he kissed it. And I can tell you when I removed that cross from his casket at his funeral, I looked at it and it had been worn down. And it's that great image of he no longer carried it on the outside of his body. It was really imprinted on his heart. So that cross, that image sticks with me to this day about our profession crosses. Did you swap out your cross for that one then? So you could make sure to have that history You know, mine is still rather, the etchings in it are rather prominent still, there's still some time for it to imprint itself on my heart, so. Hopefully there's enough time for that. I'm sure there will be. And you might be kissing it the longer you are provincial and things go. That's absolutely true. What other ministries besides art might the Oblates be in that are a little different? Well, I love this. You're putting me on the spot here. I'm sorry. Do you have one in mind? I just mean like most, you said most charisms are built around one particular thing, is true, but I know that the Oblates like they do art, but then there's missionaries in foreign countries. There's, you so there's a lot of different things that you do. I'm trying to give you a free vocation appeal here. Oh, So, from our foundation The way we were approved as a religious order, we started as missionaries. In fact, one of the stories so Louis Brisson, he founds all of these schools in France and right around year 1900 the French government turned really against the Catholic church confiscated everything we had. and by this time Brisson was really old. And so at the end of his life he thought he lost everything. But at the same time he was sending missionaries around the world because we were not permitted in France. He sent us to the United States. And so we're really here, because our stories won a resurrection, you know? we were sent, after losing everything, we were sent out. And because of that that spirit reached my ears and so I never forget that, that even when things seem like they're crumbling or we're losing it all, that, that's how we were birthed. In the hope of the resurrection. Yes. Yep. So every year you celebrate Easter and your, your Salesian spirituality. my gosh, yes, And next year is a big anniversary. Yes, so as you know, as we are approaching 2025, we were formed in 1875. So we're gonna be old. we need to know where to go to the party at, Joe. Well, as you know, I'm well known for my celebrations. yeah, so we are hosting several events across our places in this province and who is helping to head that? Father Michael Newman, thank goodness. equally good party planner. An equally good party planner. Perhaps the Newmans could be declared party planners. Ya know, I wonder if there's a patron saint of party planners yet. It could be If not, I'm looking at Father Joe. So really though is there anything we could look forward to to celebrate this big feast with your community? Yes, yes, yes. so right now we're exploring several things. we're exploring a speaker series across our ministries. and Most of our ministries right now are kind of clustered in this area, you know, Adrian, Toledo area, Camp DeSales. And so, we're looking at celebrations at each one of those and also something that connects all of our ministries in the area. So yes, in fact, the group, the Party Planning Committee well, our Jubilee Planning Committee just met about a week ago to start putting some more details down. All right. And the big question I'm sure on everyone's mind every year is, is Father Mike going to stay at Holy Family? Because you do have the power to control that, do you not? Yes, you know, Michael does take a vow of obedience to me. Seems appropriate. That's appropriate. Yes, yes, Michael loves it here. He loves it at Holy Family, and I can't tell you how grateful I am, for the love that this parish has shown my brother. It's just incredible. Just incredible. Yes, I think your parents are mini celebrities at the bilingual mass. You know, it's like, oh, Father Mike's parents are here. Father Mike's parents are here, they love coming up. Well, we love the Newmans. They're wonderful people. And we're so grateful when we get to have a chance to be with both of you. Oh, thank you. The mission for everybody who went, I think, was a really special time for them. So, we're grateful to you for that. yes, I loved coming up. I love, I love being up here. there's all kinds of fun. So, I found out, I didn't discover this until last year with the mission. Apparently, Michael and I, we sound alike. is that true? It is true. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Your mannerisms are very different and your height, obviously, is different. But, But, you do sound alike. so, since you brought that up, hmm. your personalities are slightly different too, right? Yes. So, can you give us a glimpse into a road trip with the two of you? Oh my goodness. Okay, so, we have taken several trips together. you should know that when I go on a trip, I don't like, itineraries or agendas. to I like to find a cafe and sit there and enjoy myself. That's great. Michael loves to go see things and they are planned four weeks in advance. now we get around this by acknowledging that as I am at a cafe, he can go and see things. So we know we are very different in that way. Oh And when you originally planned the you want to take the Miata which is like He can barely sit in it without his knees coming up to his nose Oh yes, yes my Dad has a little convertible Miata Michael doesn't even like to drive it. Well, in all fairness Joe the height difference that's factor Well, that's true. It's better suited to me. Yes. yes. Yeah, that was a smart move to try to get that inheritance from the Miata, you know. Well, I did go with my dad get it so. Good good. choice. Uhhuh. Good choice, Uhhuh. Alright, so what does the future hold for Father Joe? Well, Well I could tell you, I didn't plan to be where I am right now. I didn't plan it. the future. I gotta tell you one thing that's been throughout my life no matter the ministry or location I've always found a lot of joy. So what I will be doing in the future I have no idea. But I know God has given me a heart of joy. And so that I can lean on. And you know, joy, it's it's more than just happiness. It's it can be sustained and, and so whatever I'm doing, it's that heart of joy. So how do you sustain the joy in the hard moments? Oh, that's good. So I gotta tell you this this is something I discovered only a few years ago. So, you know, I'm ordained and I'm doing my ministry. I'm rather effective. And I was under the impression that I was loved because I was doing good things. Hmm? I was effective. Whatever you want to say. I thought I was loved because I had it all together. Well as you know back in 2020 my middle brother John died. Very suddenly, pulmonary embolism. And, a few months after his death I remember I was meeting with an oblate and they were asking how it was doing and I was trying to hold it all together. And eventually I said, I'm not, I'm not doing well. I'm grieving, I'm very sad. And I showed them the wound that was there for my brother's death. And I've never experienced such great love than that moment. When you say, I don't have it all together. And someone says, Oh, Don't you know I love you? No matter what you do, I just love you. Yeah. Don't you know I think it's fitting given the gospel this weekend, right? Like, that's part of your homily? That's right. That's right. This idea that we belong together. I belong together with you. So, can you give a but since we just talked about that and some people may not see that homily, can you give a brief synopsis of what that is? yeah. so the gospel, Jesus is being questioned by the Pharisees once again, specifically on divorce. And as a piece of his answer, he says that great line, you know, what God has joined together, let no one separate. And that was the line that really struck me and the entire gospel because, oh my goodness, has God joined us together? Every day, God has put people in my life and said, Ah! You are joined together. But, you know, I often forget that and and I try to distance or separate and and, so the gospel today is that reminder, the most important thing, we belong together. I think that's so powerful, especially, you know, as we all gather for for Eucharist. I mean, we are joined worldwide. If you begin to say, who has God joined me together with? Well, that circle gets bigger and bigger and bigger. Yeah, we belong together. It's true. We do. And I, I think it's important to remember that in this current world where there's a lot of division, that we really do belong together and God has joined us together, so it can't be wrong. be That's right. That's right. Yes, God has joined us together. Francis de Sales had this wonderful, word. When he looked at creation, he saw, and, he has this word, unidiversity. That there's great unity in all creation. There's also diversity, right? But it starts with unity. And the line we're always taught, is that diversity within unity is life giving, but diversity without unity is destructive. And so it's once again gathering this idea of we belong together, it's, it's diversity within this wonderful unity. So you've given us so much wisdom today, Fr. Joe. So So grateful for you to come here. Do you have any last minute thoughts you'd like to share with us? thoughts you'd like to Oh, I'm sure do. I'm sure I'm sure I do. Let's see, some last minute thoughts. You know, one of the things I've been working on in my own life, in my own spiritual life and relationship with God, I've been trying to spend this entire year thinking about this question. When I think of God, tell me the story of when you fell in love. I've I've been thinking about that a lot. When did I fall in love? You know, I learned about God from a very early age. But eventually you fall in love. So I've been, I've been spending a lot of time this year thinking about that. So I invite, I invite people to do the same. You know I do that when I sit down with couples. I say, Oh my gosh, how did you meet? When did you fall in love? And they tell me. And I think that's the same question we have with God. Oh my gosh. When did you fall in love? It causes for a pause in our lives, right? Cause you would generally say, Oh, well I grew up Catholic, I went to church, I did this, Ooh, when did I fall in love? Mm hmm. That's a deeper question. It is. Wow, I don't think we're paying you enough to be here to ask that question today, Father Joe. Thanks for that. Well, I get to steal his mug. Yes, I mean, who would not want a Holy Family mug? I love it. Three sips and you're gone. so I just really want to thank you for joining us today Ah, Katie, I love being here. It's so good to have you and it's so refreshing to have another voice in this world one of love and one of Unity and how we belong to each other. And so as we go forward, I just invite everyone to invite whoever's next to you to enjoy the open seat. And I thank Father Joe and we'll see you again, I hope, soon. Yes, absolutely. Thank you so much for having me. This is wonderful what you're doing. Aw, thank you, Father Joe. We'll talk to you later. right.